A TikTok creator has ignited a conversation about friendship dynamics among women, particularly focusing on the perceived imbalance between single and married friends. In a video posted on November 4, 2023, Ashanti, a 36-year-old advocate for single women, expressed frustration with the expectations placed upon single women by their married counterparts. She argued that while married women often receive unwavering support during significant life events, such as weddings and childbirth, they frequently overlook the achievements of their single friends.
Ashanti pointed out that married women rarely invest the same energy into celebrating their single friends’ milestones, whether those are professional advancements, personal achievements, or travel experiences. “Rarely, if ever, do married women really allocate time and investment into their single friends’ life events,” she stated in her TikTok video, which has gained considerable traction, accumulating nearly 280,000 views and over 1,500 comments.
The creator’s message resonated with many single women who have felt neglected or undervalued in their friendships. Comments from viewers reflected a shared sentiment of frustration regarding the changes in dynamics once peers transition to marriage and motherhood. One user remarked, “I’m 1000% the emotional support for my married friends because their husbands can’t support them in that way.” This sentiment was echoed by others who felt that being single often leads to their achievements being dismissed.
Critique of Friendship Expectations
Ashanti’s video calls attention to the expectation that single women should remain understanding and available for their married friends, even as those friends may neglect to reciprocate that support. She noted that single women often find themselves acting as emotional support systems or surrogate partners for friends who might be struggling in their relationships. “Quite frankly, there are too many excuses being made—that they’re so occupied, so busy,” she said.
The TikTok creator emphasized that single women should not be viewed as “disposable accessories” in their friends’ lives. “Just because we might not be married, just because we might not be occupied with motherhood necessarily—it doesn’t mean we’ve got endless free time,” she asserted. This perspective has struck a chord, leading many women to express their agreement in the comments section of her video.
Ashanti’s observations reveal a broader societal issue regarding the balance of emotional labor within friendships. Many commenters shared their experiences of feeling overlooked or taken for granted. One user articulated the frustration of being expected to be constantly available, saying, “It’s like they think ‘single’ means nothing ever happens in our life.”
Impact on Friendships
The reactions to Ashanti’s video highlight a significant shift that many women experience in their social circles after marriage and motherhood. As friendships evolve, some single women report feeling sidelined, as their married friends prioritize family obligations over their friendships. “They will abandon you at every turn for that man and expect you to pick up the pieces when they finally wake up & divorce him,” one commenter lamented.
The discussion surrounding this topic reflects a growing recognition of the emotional challenges faced by single women in maintaining friendships with married friends. Ashanti’s candid approach has opened the door for many to share their own stories, fostering a sense of community and validation among those who may have felt isolated.
As this conversation continues to unfold on social media, it remains to be seen how these dynamics will evolve. Ashanti did not respond to the Daily Dot’s request for comment, but her video has undoubtedly sparked a significant dialogue about the expectations of friendship in a changing social landscape.
