Research scientist Amanda Nguyen has publicly shared her struggles with depression following her participation in Blue Origin’s first all-female spaceflight. In a candid Instagram post on December 28, 2023, Nguyen expressed the profound emotional impact of the flight, describing how her monumental achievement turned into a difficult experience.
Nguyen, who made history as the first Vietnamese woman to travel to space, reflected on the immediate aftermath of the flight. She recalled feeling overwhelmed by public scrutiny and backlash, stating, “Everything I had worked for… was buried under an avalanche of misogyny.” Her remarks highlight the complex emotions tied to her journey, especially as it coincided with significant historical contexts, including the 50th anniversary of the U.S.-Vietnam War.
The spaceflight, which took place in April, included notable figures such as Gayle King, Katy Perry, and former NASA rocket scientist Aisha Bowe. Despite the historic nature of their journey, the crew faced considerable criticism. Some celebrities dismissed the flight as a public relations stunt, questioning its cost and purpose.
In her post, Nguyen recounted the mental toll of the experience, describing it as an “onslaught no human brain has evolved to endure.” She struggled significantly in the weeks following the flight, stating, “I did not leave Texas for a week, unable to get out of bed.”
Nguyen highlighted the importance of resilience and the support she received from her community during this challenging time. She noted, “Millions of you who took the time to learn about my why — to uplift my research, my activism and my story.” This acknowledgment underlines the vital role that public support played in her recovery.
Transformative Experience and Future Aspirations
Despite the difficulties she faced, Nguyen emphasized the positive outcomes of the flight. She noted that the publicity surrounding her research into breast cancer was significantly enhanced, allowing her to advocate for women’s health issues on a larger platform. “The flight opened doors to speak to world leaders and advance my fight for rape survivors’ rights in an unprecedented way,” she stated.
Nguyen also reflected on the symbolic significance of her journey. For the 30th anniversary of reconciliation between the U.S. and Vietnam, she flew lotus seeds as a symbol of peace. This act exemplified her belief in using science as a tool for diplomacy.
As she navigated her emotional journey, Nguyen acknowledged the “deep grief” she experienced for nearly a year. However, she expressed relief in feeling the fog of depression begin to lift. “Vietnam saved me. My friends who continually checked in on me saved me. The love of my community saved me,” she wrote, highlighting the importance of connection and support.
Nguyen compared her experience to that of astronaut Neil Armstrong, noting that while he stepped onto the moon amid conflict, her family, as boat refugees, now looked to the sky to see a representation of hope and achievement. “We came on boats, and now we’re on spaceships,” she remarked, underlining the progress made by her community.
Reflections on Personal Growth
In her reflections, Nguyen emphasized the importance of acknowledging one’s past. “What I’ve learned is that we never fully leave behind our past selves; all parts of us are valuable,” she wrote. By recognizing both the pain and triumphs of her journey, she has found a path to healing.
Nguyen concluded her post by expressing gratitude to those who supported her, stating, “To every friend that has held my heart in your love… When the grief returns, I begin at your kindness.” Her message resonates as a reminder of the power of community and representation, especially in the face of adversity.
As Nguyen continues her journey, her story serves as an inspiration for many, illustrating the complexities of achievement and the importance of mental health awareness. Her experiences highlight that while dreams may face obstacles, resilience and support can lead to transformative outcomes.
