The phrase “You look great” often escapes our lips during encounters, even if the sentiment feels insincere. This common expression surfaced recently in the waiting room of a doctor’s office when Robert B. Reich, a former U.S. Secretary of Labor, was greeted by a long-lost acquaintance. The exchange prompted Reich to reflect on the complexities of aging and the social niceties that accompany it.
Upon seeing his friend, Reich was met with a cheery compliment: “You look great!” Despite feeling the effects of time—white hair, blotchy skin, and visible signs of aging—he replied in kind, even though he believed his friend looked significantly older than he remembered. This moment raised the question: why do people feel compelled to offer such compliments, especially when they may not reflect reality?
Reich, nearing 80 years old himself, pondered the nature of aging and societal expectations. He recalled a conversation with renowned astronomer Fred Whipple, who worked at the Harvard College Observatory for over 70 years. Whipple, then in his 90s, humorously categorized life into stages: youth until 40, middle age from 40 to 60, older age from 60 to 80, and then the stage where compliments like “You look great” become commonplace.
The laughter shared between Reich and Whipple highlighted a fundamental truth about human interaction. People often resort to platitudes when faced with the discomfort of aging, preferring to uplift rather than be brutally honest. As Whipple pointed out, while one might not expect someone to say, “You look like crap,” he believed that honesty could replace the polite facade.
Despite this, Reich feels that the words “You look great” carry deeper meaning. They signify appreciation for a person’s continued presence and vitality, serving as an affirmation of life rather than a straightforward assessment of physical appearance. This sentiment is particularly poignant as individuals age and face the realities of their changing bodies.
In light of the approaching holiday season, the exchange serves as a reminder of the importance of connection and positivity. As we gather with friends and family, the act of complimenting one another can foster warmth and community, even if the words may sometimes feel like a stretch of the truth.
Reich concludes this reflection with an affirmation: “Happy holidays. You look great.” This simple phrase encapsulates the joy of being together and the shared experiences that come with aging. It reinforces the idea that, regardless of physical appearance, the essence of connection matters most.
As he continues his work as a professor of public policy at the University of California, Berkeley, and through his writings, Reich encourages readers to embrace the complexities of aging, valuing relationships over mere appearances.
